From the inside out....

Last week was hectic and stressful to say the least. I took a break on Wednesday and played hooky from work. I don't think I've ever done that in my entire life. Decided to go to the city and take in a day at the de Young with one of my favorite people in the universe (I call him my 'unboyfriend' for lack of a better term). I can't remember when things felt so right in the world. It was one of the best days I've had in a very long time. And as I made my way through the rest of the week, I realized I really needed to make some firm and well thought out decisions and soon. Finally 5pm Friday came and was whisked away to a beautifully surreal spot down highway one. It was the kinda place you go to get right with yourself, calming, spiritual, amazing... I really could have spent hours there, but it was late and not everyone gets to have weekends off. Saturday came with a trip to Colma to visit Holy Cross Cemetery... no words can describe the history and pu...

Recently, I made the trek to Oregon to get what remained of my things that I had in storage at my parents house. I finally dove, headfirst, into the imposing rubbermaid container that held so many of those precious moments of my adolescent years. I don't really think I was quite ready for the realizations that came rushing into my head and heart, like a runaway train... I found a hotel key, an actual key from a time before all the hotels had "card keys" for everything... This one is from the Radisson Inn in Fargo, ND, 1988, room 415. A room I shared with Lani McManus at the Northwest Minnesota Synod Youth Gathering. I have to laugh thinking about it all again... They had a very structured, well organized event with different seminars and various activities for us to do, but Lani wanted to meet people... specifically "dudes" as she always referred to members of the opposite sex. So that's what we did, while riding the elevator up and down, up and down, ...

[grat-i-tood, -tyood] –noun the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful Origin: 1400–50; late ME 1. Music 2. Family 3. Amazing friends 4. The ability to support and take care of myself 5. Independence 6. Strength and Courage 7. Lots of books to read 8. Traveling as much as I can and taking lots of pictures 9. My past (no regrets... ever) 10. Not having any dancing skills but dancing anyway... 11. Having patience with myself when I'm emotional 12. Owning my own washer and dryer and not having to go to a laundromat. 13. Having goals 14. Not NEEDING to be in a relationship, but WANTING one, and being content until that comes 15. Not having to drink to change the way I feel 16. Even though I say I don't have hope, I really do, I just don't like to admit it 17. New shoes 18. Wanting more (it keeps me motivated and moving) 19. Not really caring what other people think about me... good or bad. 20. Green apples and greek yogurt The truth be told... not...