I'm gonna clear my head, I'm gonna drink that sun, I'm gonna love you good and strong while our love is good and young...

Last week was hectic and stressful to say the least. I took a break on Wednesday and played hooky from work. I don't think I've ever done that in my entire life. Decided to go to the city and take in a day at the de Young with one of my favorite people in the universe (I call him my 'unboyfriend' for lack of a better term). I can't remember when things felt so right in the world. It was one of the best days I've had in a very long time. And as I made my way through the rest of the week, I realized I really needed to make some firm and well thought out decisions and soon.

Finally 5pm Friday came and was whisked away to a beautifully surreal spot down highway one. It was the kinda place you go to get right with yourself, calming, spiritual, amazing... I really could have spent hours there, but it was late and not everyone gets to have weekends off. Saturday came with a trip to Colma to visit Holy Cross Cemetery... no words can describe the history and pulchritude. So awesome to see Carmelita and Ian and hang out with the girls... Wished I would have had more energy to make the day continue on into the evening... Returned home at a decent time and watched the PPV fight. Holyfield kinda pussed out but Kevin "The Kingpin" Johnson was incredible... best fight of the night for sure!

I'm finding that I'm getting more used to my 'unboyfriend' being around then him not being around. Freaks me out some. Still trying to not let it trip me up or out, trying not to future trip and enjoy each moment as it comes... It's incredibly hard. Instinctually I want to be pushy and make demands and ultimatums, patience is not my strong suit. But I don't even have words to describe the way he makes me feel... Like I feel worthy and capable of wanting change in my life, like I want to chase my dreams and experience new places and things... I haven't felt like that in... wow, I can't remember when. My life just feels better with him in it...

Tomorrow it's all nose back to the grindstone. I think I'll do okay, stress shields up, ready for the attack...

So many unknowns ahead. I hate not knowing stuff, like planning, having everything organized and ready to go. Life isn't always accommodating to what I want or how I like things. I've just gotta focus on what's right in front me, break everything down into small manageable pieces and everything will fall into place...

I hope.

Comments

  1. AnonymousFebruary 10, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    What about the pleasant surprises you can experience when everything isn't all so organized and predictable? I like your frankness about things erotic. There's so much said about how stimulating sound spankings are, but never in my many years have I ever experienced one. It's supposed to be really hot when applied by the opposite sex. I wish you well with the special guy you mentioned.

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